S e a s o n   F i v e   F i n a l e

THE INCIDENT

Episodes 5.16 & 5.17

A three-hour presentation of LOST always puts me in a tough place…really tough.  At what time is it safe for me to start drinking my Dharma beer (warm) while still being certain I’m conscious enough for what is sure to be a dramatic and important ending to this season?    Maybe now would be good.  Shhhh, it’s on…

We see a man at work at a spinning wheel under a dancing firelight.  He’s making a large tapestry which includes many, many threads he has put in place by his own hand—there’s a cool design on his rug, as well.  Outside, at the site of the four-toed statue, he enjoys an old-school fish taco while watching a mighty sailing vessel (the Black Rock?) on the near horizon.  Another man joins him, hatreds and threats are exchanged and we come to find that our thread-weaver is none other than Jacob.

Holy-freakin’-mo-ly.

The LOST logo splashes onto the screen and I get the impression I’m going to be thinking about tonight for a long, long time—all summer, fall and early winter, as it turns out.

We come back to little kids at play.  Shoplifting is easy-peazee until you get caught.   Little Kate has sticky fingers --Jacob shows up and pays her way out of trouble.  He makes Katie promise not to steal ever again.  On the sub, in 1977, drugs are being distributed and Kate wants to escape.  She is trying to convince Sawyer and Juliet to pull an “ultimate-Houdini” and escape from their underwater prison.

In the Jughead Room, Jack and Sayid are trying to learn about nukes.  Richard and Elle are concerned—but not entirely against it.

At The Swan, Chang is trying to misdirect Dharma's plans to achieve Swan-ness.  Cool 1970s drills bore into…30 years later:  Locke is marching his people down the beach.  Ben reminds us that everyone answers to someone and Locke answers to Jacob.  Ben admits than he’s never met Jacob.  Alpert is very interested in Locke’s murder experience.  Alpert admits that he is ageless because of Jacob.  Wow.

Outrigger canoes are landing on the soft sand with the new crash victims.  Poor Frank Lapidus is sleeping, kinda.  The crash victims don’t seem much like victims anymore.  They’ve got a box full of…terrific!

This episode has given me that “Christmas morning" feeling I had when I was a six-year-old.  Hell, Yea!  This is good freakin’ stuff, momma!

Funeral  scene.  Jacob is visiting.  A young Sawyer is the lucky boy.  He gets a pen and an upright talkin’ to about life from a concerned relative.  Into the 1977 submarine, Sawyer and Kate and Juliet are tossing the destiny ball around when Juliet decides to go UFC on a deckhand and open the door to escape.  They take the bridge easily. 

In the present, Sayid is playin’ nuke mechanic.  Richard asks Jack about John Locke—Jack  advises, “I wouldn’t give up on him.”

Locke and Ben are chatting during their beach walk.  Ben promises to be John’s be-yotch and do whatever he is told.  First order:  kill Jacob.

Locke has achieved the Zen-state he always wanted.  My season finale gloom has been replaced by season finale “zoom” and I’m so freakin’ glad Obama’s visit to the Arizona State University graduation didn’t preempt a single eye-lash of my LOST-time.

Sayid and Nadia are crossing the street when Jacob approaches and says he’s LOST.  Nadia gets drilled in the worst of ways by a speeding vehicle.  She holds hands with her husband while she dies in the street.

Back on the island, Sayid is ready for action.  Alpert sledges his way through a wall and into a Dharma house.  Eloise insists on going through the whole first.  Alpert pistol whips her into a change of heart.  Sayid and Jack enter the house with weapons ready and bad attitudes.  Dharmaville is in mid-evacuation.  They boys decide to dress up, walk-out and hope for the best.  Ben’s dad finds Sayid in his cross-hairs and shoots.  Another great gun battle is ended with a Dharma-van rescue.

Sayid is bleeding.  The first thing that comes to my mind is that three of the show’s main characters have taken critical gunshot wounds in the last few weeks.  My “Shootout at the O-K Corral Theory” may be gaining steam.

On the post-sub rubber boat, Sawyer’s three-way dreams are drawing closer.  Vincent shows up with Rose and Bernard.  Berny comments,  “son of a b*tch.”

In the Dharma rescue van, Sayid is bleeding his way into trouble and Jack is making more big promises.

Sawyer is trying to explain his way out of Rose and Bernard’s bad graces.  They have “retired.”  Our favorite couple has made a modest island paradise and have no intention of doing anything but telling the world and its’ problems to go to hell.  “Being together” just about brought me to my knees.

The flight 316 folks are still pulling Frank’s butt and their pretty metal box through the jungle.  They arrive at Jacob’s cabin—maybe…in broad daylight…for sure.

Jacob is visiting the wounded in the hospital—Alana to be specific.  He wants help—she gives help.

She strides into Jacob’s cabin, pulls a small machete out of the wall and reads a crumby piece of rug that we saw in the opening scene.  She orders the cabin burned.  Somehow, this gives their group direction.

No finale would be “perfect” without Smokie.  Thanks all the lords of the island that I’m thinkin’ he’s gonna be included in this next 10 minutes or tele-gasm I’m having.  I should brace myself for disappointment.

Jacob is reading a book…on a bench…on a fine, sunny day.  John Locke ruins everything by landing on his back after his father tossed him through the expensive glass on the high-floor of a luxury apartment building.

Back on the beach, Locke is welcoming his people into the original Losty camp.  Ben and John are having a smug conversation about when they first met and their first meeting with Jacob and how much Ben likes to pretend.  John reminds Ben about Cancer, a daughter’s death and being banished.  John is extremely dialed in…somehow.  His words rock the storyline.

Sun is rediscovering her early days on the island and finds Charlie’s “DF” ring.  We fall back to her wedding and watch her put a ring on Jin’s finger.  Big surprise:  Jacob is there and and he speaks perfect Korean.

Back in the 70s, the VW Bus is doing what it’s supposed to do—kicking ass through the jungle.  Sayid is still bleeding, Jack is on the verge of tears and suddenly they are confronted by a trio of sexual energy.  Sawyer, Juliet and Kate are standing legs apart, holding their weapons, and gritting their teeth.

*breath is coming in bursts*  This is soooo good.  *warm Dharma beer tastes like expensive Scotch at this point*

Locke’s quest-walkers shows up at the base of a fractured four-toed statue.  Jacobs lives in the foot.

Sawyer and Jack have a massive disagreement about exploding nukes on small tropical islands.

We flashback to Jack and his Dad in surgery.  “Close your eyes and count to five.”   Jack is pissed at his dad for all the immense embarrassment he received during his young doctoring years.  Jacob gives the young doctor an Apollo bar in a wondrous recreation of the 1970s-esque LifeSavers commercials.

In the Jungle, juggling weapons, Sawyer decides to tell Jack his awesome backstory.   Sawyer’s story includes a lot of personal healing, while, Jacks' story seems to be more and more like Lockes' story with every passing moment.  Finally, Jack admits that his whole hang-up…supposedly…is about Kate.  The old Sawyer would have shot him—the new Sawyer just wants to beat the hell out of him.  It’s a smackdown.

The Dharma beer is taking affect…are all my favorite dudes on the island girl-happy?  Is that what’s going on…is that at the base of everybody’s motivation?  If that’s the case, this episode will make it work and make it totally cool!  Treasure, power, manly prowess would have been cool, too.

Juliet’s parents divorce at a young age.

Back in the 70s, Juliet is changing her opinion on the future based on how Sawyer “looked at her.”  She is sooo freakin’ angry that she’s willing to demolish the current time line—she never wants to meet Sawyer.  I’m confident she means it.

At the Swan, construction isn’t going super-good.  Chang and his Dharma dudes are trying to put their thumb in a hole of a leaky dam.  Kate and Jack are watching from the distant foliage.  The “A” word (Aaron) comes to the surface.  Jack is 100% convinced that destroying this time thread is the best-est thing to do.  They watch as things start to go south at the Swan construction site and ramble off into the island green ready to enact their plan.

Before fight 316, Hurley is getting bailed out of jail.  He jumps in a cab with Jacob and offers up some of his fruit roll-up.  Jacob tells Hugo that he was waiting…for him.  Jacob wants Hurley to go back to the island, AND, tells him that he (Jacob) is definitely not dead.  Hurley’s not crazy—he’s blessed—and, he’s given flight plans and a rock star’s guitar.

Sayid is hurting, bleeding, preparing himself for death.  Jack and the rest of his renegades are listening to the Iraqi’s instructions and once again, Jack is making big promises.  On his way to make things explode, Jack cross paths with Sawyer and Juliet.  They let him pass with a simple, “See ya in Los Angeles.”

On the beach, Locke’s people are camping out in the shadow of the statue.  Richard Alpert is pissed that Locke wants to bring Ben in to see Jacob, but, once again, gives way to the orders of his leader.  Stone is pushed aside and John is in the mood to kill.  Ben pulls John’s knife from its’ sheath and strides zombie-like into the darkness.

With 20 minutes left, I’m thinking that everyone who is a serious fan of this show is thrilled, intrigued and bubbling in awe at tonight's presentation.

At the van, Miles is suggesting an ugly scenario is possible in regard to Jack’s plan.  At the Swan, all hell is breaking loose and Jack is lurking in the weeds.  He tries to invade the site but gets spotted by one of Sawyer’s old employees.  Once again, the blue goodness of a Dharma van comes to the rescue.  Sawyer gets a weapon and temporary control until the Dharma drill penetrates the island energy pocket.  Jack holds the nuke over the hole…and drops it.

The ground, the equipment—everything—goes magnetic.  Dr. Chang’s arm gets caught in the framework—I hope he’s not seriously hurt.  The mysterious energy that has been unleashed grows and really cool stuff starts to happen with every metal object within view.  People are getting trapped, hurt and crushed.

The nastiest thing ever happens to the best couple on the show.

Dammit.  Dammit.  Dammit.

On the four-toed statue beach, Sun wants some brown liquor.  The new crash victims show up with their box and want to know “what lies in the shadow of the statue.”   Frank looks like he needs a good buzz.

John Locke’s body rolls out of the shiny box.

Under the four-toed statue, John and Ben are exploring.  Jacob is hanging out in his own pad.  It takes a very long time to make a thread.  Locke is sick of island BS and wants Ben to kill Jacob—immediately.  Jacob steps forward and tries to change things.  Ben spills his guts and brings Jacob to answer the hardest of questions.  Ben finishes his oratory with several knife blows to the Jacob’s chest.

“They’re coming,” are Jacob’s dying words.

At the Swan, torment and disaster are in charge.  Juliet is lying at the bottom of it all—alive, thankfully.  Her hand grabs a piece of volcanic stone (a black rock) and she pounds the nuke until...2010.

This episode is a massive crescendo in the storyline of the show.  There was not a single moment, action, event during the entire two hours that I did not find powerful ,  relevant and down-right moving.  Jacob’s interest in the Losties throughout the years is spooky and sure to be the source of off-season speculating by every LOST fan, everywhere.  My favorite scene (or least favorite) was between Sawyer and Juliet and the magnetic heart of the island that pulls them apart.  I can’t remember a better epsiode—ever.

Also, the nuclear explosion reminded me of a time flash.

I rate this episode 9.9 out of 10 Namastes!