NOTICE: New Diary found on the island.
Dear Diary,
Hey there it’s me, Jack, but I guess you already knew that huh. I was thinking about becoming a pimp and I would be called Macktastic Shepard Dogg. Yeah I kinda liked that. But then something weird happened when I was out exploring. All I remember is some black smoke and then I didn’t want to be a pimp anymore. Now I want to be a break dancer now. I can do a wicked cool robot. I’ll make all the women on the island wanting to touch my roboto……DOMO
So some heavy stuff has been happening lately. Like did you know that Rose was an Other. I KNOW!!! ME TOO!! I was so like “Gag me with a spoon….grodie Other-O’Rama” I didn’t like her much anyways, she kinda smelled like old corn dogs. There are some other people on this island who are kinda lamesville. Like this Locke guy, he really needs to get laid or at least take a chill pill. Sometimes I wonder if he even knows what he’s talking about. Cause most of the time when he talks I’m like “whatchu talkin bout willis?” I bet he’s one of them slamdancers. Then there’s Michael. He reminds me of rose in the fact that he looks kinda like her. I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody cared if he went off on a boat with his son and nobody heard from him again. Mr. eko is pretty quiet. Infact I haven’t even seen him yet. Same with Alex. I bet they are making babies. This Richard guy seems kinda out of it but at least he’s putting in some effort around the pearl, I bet he’s a closet batcaver. Shannon, she seems like she is harmless, but I bet she’s a freak in the sack. I bet she’s a librarian off the island. They are always hella freaky in bed. Oh, then there’s this Pilot guy. Talk about poser. This guy is such a zeek. He’s trying to mack on Juliet.
Ah, yes. Then there’s Juliet. She is so trippindicular to the max. Whenever I try to talk to her, my palms get all sweaty and I get all McFly about it. I sometimes even Ralph. But man, I would totally want to kick it with that home skillet. I think I might try and find some nice smooth metal pieces from the plane so I can practice a routine for Jules. I thinks she would totally find it boss. But what if she’s like “Gag me with a spoon that is so narbo.” Well diary, I think it’s a risk I’m gonna have to take.
Peace out,
Jack Daddy Shepard
Posted by Cerberus on 23 Aug 2007 at 16:17 | Lost News
